Sunday, December 6, 2009

The Negligent Dr Story

Remember that one time I had to go to the Dr and get a pap done? Gross right, well guess what, everyone does it, once a year, so get over it. Ha. Anyways I called to check on my results about a week later, and left a message. The machine said they would get back to me within 24 hours. Well no call back and about a week later I decided to try back. Same thing no call back. All my friends convinced me that no news is good news. Its just a yearly thing anyways, nothing to be too concerned about. Well about a week later I call, and again no return call. Finally I call on Friday and talk to the receptionist and explain that this is my fourth time calling, with no return calls, and she gets a nurse on the phone. She asks my name and date of birth then puts me on hold. She comes back on the phone and tells me the Dr who did my test is actually there and would like to speak to me. Shit. She gets on and explains they found precancerous cells and I have to go back in and have a biopsy and a colposcopy. I have no idea what that is, and I pretty much tuned her out after hearing precancerous anyways. Here is my question. I called 4 times. Not only did they not return my calls, they didn't CALL ME TO TELL ME THERE WAS A PROBLEM. Don't you think if labs came back like that, that is something you should TELL YOUR PATIENT???? This shit could only happen to me....

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

The Face Plant

Remember that one time I was trying to go to school, only to continuesly be hinder by the fact that it was game day? I go to the University of Utah, aka the famed school hated by Max Hall :). My friend and I are headed to class one day and we can't figure out why there is so much traffic. All I know is I'm getting a bit frusterated because its getting close to class time and the cars aren't moving. Then I remember. First football game of the season. We go to park, and they wont let us, BECAUSE ITS FOOTBALL PARKING. I'm glad to see you value your students education so much University of Utah. Nice. We continue to look for parking, weaving in and out of football fans, who are completely dressed in red, lots are drunk, and they have no regard for cars or traffic laws. Genius idea to walk down the middle of the road. After driving around for another 20 minutes, we finally find a visitor parking lot they will let us park in. On North campus. Our class is definitely on South campus. And I picked today of all days to wear stilettos. We park and start to make the trek to class. We have been walking for about 10 minutes when I finally get fed up with all the drunk morons running around, so I turn to my friend and say "I hate this stupid school, BYU is so much better." No sooner had the works come out of my mouth then I completely trip and totally fall flat on my face. My books scatter, and I'm down for the count. This kid that had been walking behind us walks by and is hysterical. Real funny. My friend checks to make sure I'm ok. When she realizes its only my ego that was hurt, she tries to get me to get up and hurry so we can continue to class. I refuse. I laid there for about 10 minutes before I finally agreed to get up. This shit could only happen to me...

The IRS Story

Remember that one time I was at work and my boss asked me to come into her office when I had a minute so we could talk? I was real nervous cause she never talks to me. I finished with my patients and went back to her office and she asked me to close the door and have a seat. Uh oh. She says to me, " We got this in the mail yesterday. I hope this isn't the first time you've seen this," and hands me a letter. From the IRS. Telling me they are going to start garnishing me wages for unpaid taxes. $124,655.59 of unpaid taxes to be exact. I have not even made that much in my lifetime, let alone how much I would have had to make to owe that much in taxes. I drive a barely running 1995 Ford Explorer. The radio is broken. I SHARE A BEDROOM. I am in no way shape or form a millionaire. But if I was I would gladly pay the government that money. This shit could only happen to me.